Ten Helpful Tips for Writing Wedding Vows

When you write your own wedding vows it will ensure that your vows express feelings from your heart. Commonly used wedding vows are beautiful but often not as personal to your specific relationship. It isn't necessary to write your own vows but many brides and grooms choose to recite their own words to their partner. The point is not to write and eloquent speech. The point is to write from your heart and to express you own personal feelings in a way that is understood by the love of your life.

Be On the Same Page

The first tip for writing your wedding vows is to make sure that both you and your partner are committed to reciting original vows.  Many couples are not comfortable expressing personal feelings in public.  While the love that is expressed in pre-written vows is also personal, it does not leave the couple feeling so vulnerable.  There are plenty of lovely vows available and a couple shouldn't forget that they are free to use these prewritten vows and should feel no obligation to write their own vows.

Vow Theme

Once you have decided that you do want to write your own wedding vows you might want to consider whether or not you want your vows to have a theme.  Love is sure to be an underlying theme in any vow but you may also want to incorporate other themes as well.  Virtues of trust, understanding, friendship and honesty may be a few themes that you may want to include in your vows. 

Start Early

Another tip for writing your wedding vows is to make certain that the vows are written well in advance of your wedding date.  It is important not to put off writing your vows. Procrastinating until the night before the wedding will most likely cause you to become stressed out and have a great deal of difficulty writing your vows.  Writing your vows well in advance of your wedding helps to eliminate stress and allows you time to really think about what you want your vows to say to your partner.

Writing your own wedding vows can be difficult.  The most difficult part of writing your own wedding vows is getting started. Once start you will get on a roll you will be able to write freely.  It might help to read through a number of existing vows.  This will let you get a feel for the language that is used in vows and can give you ideas about how you want your vows to sound.

Another important tip for writing your wedding vows is to give yourself plenty of quiet time to work on them. When you do sit down to start writing them it could become a long tedious process and it is important to allow yourself plenty of time to reflect. If you know that you have an appointment in less than an hour, it’s probably not a good time to start working on your wedding vows.

Writing Vows Together or Separately

Co-writing your vows with your partner is another tip to consider for writing meaningful vows.  You may choose to write your vows totally on your own so that the impact of your words will be a complete surprise. Or you may wish to work on your vows with your partner so that the two of you can enjoy the process of writing your vows together.  This can be a wonderful opportunity to share memories of the good times that you have shared.

Avoid Negative Experiences

Still another useful tip for writing your wedding vows would be to avoid talking about any of the bad times.  While you may wish to include these to demonstrate how you and your partner have persevered and overcome many obstacles, this type of talk can be a downer to your partner and your guests.  Sticking to the positive happy memories helps to make the vows more light-hearted and will not make them any less meaningful. 
 
Do not worry about the length of your vows.  You may feel pressured to shorten a long drawn out vow because you’re concerned that it may bore those in attendance. You may feel as though you need to add to vows that are brief but none of this is necessary.  All that truly matters is whether or not you have communicated your feelings.

Use Special Lyrics

Another tip for writing your wedding vows would be to use the words to a song that is special to both of you.  Chances are that the two of you enjoy a meaningful song because it is symbolic of your relationship.  In this situation it is appropriate to recite a portion of the lyrics as part of your vows. 

One final tip for writing unique wedding vows is to make a list of all the things that you love and admire about your partner.  You might want to create this list and then spend a few days thinking about it before you begin writing.  When you are ready to start working on your wedding vows, you could read the list that you had previously written to help you reflect on all the wonderful characteristics your partner possesses.

Writing original wedding vows can be hard but if you are one of the many couples who believe that original vows are more meaningful than pre-existing ones, following the tips above will help to make the vow writing process a little easier.  It is important to remember that original vows are not an obligation but a privilege. It is perfectly acceptable to use existing vows if you feel more comfortable doing so.