Help with Wedding Guest List Etiquette

Start by creating the initial guest list. Often, the parents of the bride and groom will have people they want to invite to the wedding. While these people may not be very important for the bride and groom to have with them on their wedding day, it is nice to honor the people who are likely paying for the wedding and give them some say in the guest list. Under these circumstances, it is proper for the bride and groom to delegate a certain number of seats for each set of parents to fill.

As for the bride and groom and their friends and family, there is an easy way to handle the guest list. The people who are definitely going to be invited to the wedding should be put onto the “A” list. The next list, the “B” list should include people that the bride and groom would like to invite if room permits. Once the invitations go out and responses come back, the bride and groom can invite people from the “B” list when someone from the “A” list has to decline. This can be tricky to handle if the “B” list person realizes that they got their invitation much later. Chances are that nothing will be said and hopefully they will choose to come to the wedding.

Another way to cut down on the number of guests is by not allowing every single person to bring a guest. This can take some legwork because while someone is considered single, if they are in a serious relationship, then they should be allowed to bring their date. Check with friends and family before singling out a single and not allowing them to bring someone important with them to the wedding.

Finally, many couples are choosing to have weddings that do not include children. This does not count the flower girl and ring bearer. If every guest was allowed to bring children, then the head count would sharply increase and so would the budget. When addressing invitations, include only the names of the couple you are inviting.

If someone sends back a reply and includes a guest when one wasn’t invited or a family responds with four instead of two, there are ways to handle it politely. It is necessary to call these guests and explain the situation. First, find out from the single if the relationship is serious. If it is then apologize for not knowing and include the date if seating permits. In the case of the family, be firm and tell the family that children are not invited and that it is the same for all of the guests. If they have a problem with this, then apologize but stay firm. Hopefully, they will still attend the wedding alone.

Everyone knows that family gatherings can be both fun and tense. A wedding, although joyous, can be difficult to plan with all the family that becomes involved. Ideally, there will be no issues, but if there is then follow these guidelines and hopefully the wedding will go smoothly.