Etiquette for Wedding Invitations and Announcements

Designing Your Wedding Invitations

How will you set up the invitation? Many questions are asked when it comes to creating the wedding invitation. Questions like whose name goes first are simple yet important questions to answer.

Here are some examples of proper etiquette in wedding invitation design:

1. The names of the hosts of the wedding, usually the bride’s parents, should start the wedding invitation.
2. After their names it should say something like: "request the honor of your presence at the marriage celebration of their daughter".
3. Then the bride and grooms names should be stated: "Mary Ann to Mr. Joseph Adams".
4. The date and time of the wedding should come next as well as the location.

If the grooms parents are helping to host or pay for the wedding then their names should also be included in the wedding invitation. The parent's of the bride are mentioned first and then the parent's of the groom.

If the bride and groom are hosting or paying for the wedding the invitation would be designed this way:

     Miss Mary Ann Sims
          And
     Mr. Joseph Adams
Request the honor of your presence.....

Special Circumstances

If there are complications such as divorce and remarriages among the parents of the bride and groom remember these guidelines when designing wedding invitations:

1. The parents that are hosting the wedding, paying for the wedding or sending out the invitations should have their names mentioned first.
2. If there is more than one parent involved the bride's father is mentioned first followed by her mother. Then the groom’s parents are listed after that.

If the wedding is hosted by someone other than the parents of the bride and groom stay focused on the intention of giving respect to the people that are hosting the wedding. It could be grandparents or siblings or anyone else that deserves to be honored by having their names listed first on the wedding invitation.

List the events that the invitation is for. For example, it might say:

"You are invited to celebrate the marriage of our daughter" or "You are invited to a reception that is in honor of our granddaughter’s marriage to Joseph Adams".

Wedding Invitation Essentials

1. The names of the hosts of the wedding
2. The names of the bride and groom
3. The date and day of the week the wedding will be held. The date should be spelled out, for example "June tenth" or "the tenth of June". The year may be included or not.
4. Do not abbreviate anything on a wedding invitation. Examples of common abbreviations that should not be used would be Mr. Mrs. DR. ST.  Etc.
5. Do not use any punctuation except for a comma between the city and state.
6. The time should be spelled out and listed on the line under the date. Do not use AM or PM; if it could be confusing say "on the morning of...." or "In the evening".
7. After the time, the location should be listed with the address on the next line. The address is not always necessary but if it is at a person’s home it should always be included. A church address can easily be found by search on the internet or phone book.

The Envelope

There is more to a wedding invitation than just the announcement. There are usually several pieces in the envelope of a traditional wedding invitation.

The Reception Card

This is a smaller card that informs the guests about the details of the wedding reception. If you choose not to include this card be sure to put this information on the wedding invitation. This is more important when the wedding reception is held at another location after the wedding ceremony.

These cards should include the time, date and location. They can be sent to guests that are not invited to the wedding but only to the reception.

Response Cards

Response cards are for your convenience. If you are serving meals you will need to know how many guests plan to come to the wedding and reception. The response card will tell you which guests will be coming and how many in their party.

Here is a sample of a typical response card:

   The Favor of Your Reply is requested
    ________Will be attending the reception
    ________Will not be attending the reception
    ________Number of Guests in attendance

           Please reply by April 15th

As long as the important information is included this can be changed. With response cards should be a self addressed stamped envelope. The guest should fill out the response card and mail it back immediately.

R.S.V.P.

In place of a response card could be R.S.V.P added to the bottom of the invitation. Include a phone number that the guest can call and specify a deadline. Only add R.S.V.P to the invitation itself if you can do so and still keep the invitation from looking cluttered. The bottom corner is the best place to put it.

Often, it can be helpful to ask one family member from each side of the family to be in charge of collecting these responses. Many guests will respond more favorably if they know the person that they are contacting.

A master list of all those that are invited should be kept on hand. When each invited guest responds their name on the list should be marked. Then information about how many are coming to the reception and the ceremony should be recorded. This way, the right plans can be made based on the number of people that are coming. It will be necessary to contact those that do not respond, particularly when the reception is a dinner that charges by the plate.

Personalized Designs

There are many ways to personalize wedding invitations.  The design of your invitation should directly reflect the type of ceremony and reception that you are having.  If the reception is informal, then there is no need for an elaborate invitation.  It will simply confuse guests.

If the reception is very formal, it is important to inform your guests of this by sending a formal invitation.  If you are concerned that some may not understand that the wedding is a black tie event, add a small notation in the corner of the invitation.

There are many ways to print your wedding invitations. Calligraphy can be hand done or printed at a print shop. Look at samples and choose the font that you like the best.

There are excellent wedding invitation companies you can work with on the web as well.  It's important to make sure to order your invitations early so that you will have enough time to get your invitations addressed and mailed at least a month before your wedding day. Invitations should be mailed about 4-6 weeks prior to the wedding celebration.  If the reception is a separate event, held on a different day, there should be two invitations sent out giving your guests plenty of notice.

Announcing the Engagement

Announcements should be sent out by the parents of either the bride or groom. This is should precede the wedding invitation. Wedding announcements are often printed in the local newspaper. This is a public announcement of the good news. Announcements are traditionally kept very formal.

The Guest List

One difficult thing to consider about the wedding and the reception is who to invite.  While this is completely up to the person that is paying for the wedding, it is most common that all family be invited.  Any person that has been a wise and trusted teacher or friend to the bride or the groom should be included in the guest list.

The focus when deciding on the guest list should be that the bride and the groom have those around them that they love and cherish.  This includes step parents and divorced relatives.  While it may not be comfortable for everyone, this is an essential ingredient for the wedding celebration of the bride and groom.

Co-Workers

It is not necessary to invite all your co workers. If they are also close friends its fine to invite them.  However, you boss can and should be invited, but don't be offended if they turn you down. 

Anyone that has been invited to the wedding shower should be invited. The wedding guest list should be made before that of the wedding shower list to insure there are no mistakes here.

If someone does not have a connection directly with the bride or the groom, or their parents, don't feel obligated to invite them.  The size of the nuptials can also limit how many should be invited. Consider both sides of the family equally when making the guest list.