Destination Wedding Etiquette

A destination wedding is a wedding that you must travel to the location of the wedding. It is in a place other than the city that you live in. Most commonly these weddings are in spectacular places such as a beautiful resort or beach. This kind of wedding is not the best choice for many people, especially those with large families that expect to attend a large traditional wedding celebration.

The decision is ultimately up to the bride and groom; it is most often decided upon what meets the needs of everyone involved. This article will discuss some guidelines and tips to help the process go smoothly.

Tip #1
Don't expect everyone to attend your wedding if it is held in a destination that is difficult for them to travel to.

Tip #2
Send out invitations and ‘hold the date’ cards to your guests well in advance.  At least 2-3 months advanced notice should be given if you expect them to come. They need plenty of time to get the proper travel arrangements made. This includes getting the necessary legal documents if it is out of the country.

Tip #3
Do something for those people that can't make it to your wedding. Some people are close to you that want to celebrate your wedding with you at home.  For example, you can have your wedding ceremony in Hawaii, but have a reception back at home too for those that could not make it.

Wedding Etiquette

There are several things to consider when it comes to planning a destination wedding ceremony.  The first is the cost involved. It is likely that the parents of the couple will not be very excited about paying for this type of wedding celebration, especially if they are counting on that big traditional wedding celebration.

If you plan to have a destination wedding, plan to sit down and talk with those that will be paying for it.  There are many additional costs included in this kind of wedding. 

One huge benefit to the wedding destination is that most often it will take care of all of the planning for the wedding.  The travel planners can help you to make arrangements for the ceremony, lodging, foods, and even for legal requirements.  This does lessen the amount of planning that you will be required to do. It may also limit you on your choices.  You will have to decide how comfortable you are in giving someone else the ability to handle your wedding.

Be up front with those that you invite about what you are covering in the way of costs involved and what they will have to cover themselves.  You must realize that some people may not be able to make it and that will have to be okay with you.  Don't make those that have financial or employment strains feel obligated to come to your destination wedding unless you plan to pay for them to do so.

You should definitely pay for the lodging of your wedding party though.  The people that are hosting the wedding will need to pay for the food and lodging of the bridesmaids and groomsmen.  Factored all of these expenses into the cost of the wedding itself.

If you will have more guests coming for your destination wedding, you should make sure that you do everything you can to help them to get the lowest airfare and hotel rates.  For example, you may be able to arrange group rates or book a block of rooms for them to stay in.  While they may be paying for it, this can be an encouragement to those that have not visited the area to go ahead and come to the celebration.

The Dress Code: Make it Clear

The host of the destination wedding must make sure that all the guests know what to wear when they get there.  There are two things to consider here:

First: The attire for this wedding may be different based on the destination of the wedding.  If so, it is necessary to determine what the right attire is and then insure that the wedding party and the guests are clear on what that attire will be. 

Second: Let your guests know what the climate is going to be like at this particular destination so that they will understand what type of clothing to bring for leisure time. Let them know about all the events related to the wedding and whether they are formal or informal events. The guests need to understand what kind of clothing to bring for each event.

Other Events

The wedding ceremony is only the basis of what your trip will include.  There should be a welcoming dinner or cocktail party where you will welcome the guests when they arrive and inform them of the agenda.  Even if it is limited by just the ceremony and a small reception, this information should be presented to the guests even before they arrive.

There should be things to keep your guests entertained during those times when no wedding related events are scheduled. Many of them will want to spend time with you and others will want to explore the area. It is important to ensure that your guest’s needs are taken care of and that they enjoy their stay.

Traditionally the guests will gather together with you for an evening meal. Sometimes it will be a get together at the beach or some other place of interest. Whatever the plan is, make sure that each guest knows when you have scheduled time to spend with them.

Celebrate at Home, Too

No matter how many people are able to travel to your destination wedding, most often there will be a number of people that just won't be able to go with you. For these guests it is customary for a reception to be held for the bride and groom so that all the guests can celebrate the marriage together.

It is equally acceptable for the bride and the groom or their parents to host their own reception after they return from their destination wedding.  It serves the same purpose as the reception of a standard wedding reception would.  The same etiquette guidelines would apply here.

The reception following a destination wedding is usually somewhat informal. It is important to let the guests that are being invited know just how formal it will be. Inform them upon invitation whether your wedding reception will be in the backyard or if it will be a formal affair.  While either is appropriate, it is important that the guests know what is right to wear and to give.

You should not register for a wedding registry for gifts.  You should not even imply that you expect gifts at your wedding reception. Most guests will bring a card but they may not give a large number of gifts for informal celebrations.

The reception should include anyone that you would like to share your wedding celebration with. This is a good way to let those guests who can't travel to your wedding to feel like they are included in your wedding celebration. 

If there is someone that is upset with you for having a destination wedding should be talked to personally about it. Help them to understand why you want to have this style of wedding. Inform them of how it will work and encourage them to come.  Insure them that they can come and join you and that you will have a reception to celebrate when you come back as well.

To Shower or Not to Shower?

Many people wonder if they should have a wedding shower if they are having a wedding in a far away destination. It is questionable whether or not you should have a shower since it is poor wedding etiquette to invite people to your shower that are not invited to the wedding.

If you are having a reception back home for those who can't attend the wedding it may be appropriate. The rules of etiquette still apply about not hosting your own shower. Nor should the person that is hosting the wedding also host the shower. The maid of honor or a close friend should host your wedding shower.

When it comes registering gifts for your shower it is appropriate as long as you follow the traditional rules of etiquette that apply in a standard wedding shower.